It's been 9 months 22 days and 12 hours since I began hating things around me. I began locking myself away from the possibilities that could have changed me or could have made me become a better person. I thought that I will never be able to let this go but now, I find myself wanting to let go of the pain, suffering, hatred and the likes.
“The curtains unfold to the greatest story I have ever told. Now, I no longer have to bear with what I have been thinking. I have already given the most important secret I have been keeping to the friends I have. Tonight, at this very moment, I surrender my innocence-if that’s the most appropriate term to use- or almost as if I have made it gone with the wind. The labyrinth of my journey has come to an end as it finally takes its step to what lies toward me. Tonight, I am no longer afraid of any labefaction for I have had enough of it and I no longer need it; the failure isn’t as bad as it may seems for it goes swiftly back and forth at you- maybe I was just numb to feel it though or I am just so used to it. Tonight, I won’t be lackadaisical of the problems and troubles that I will be facing for I feel so secured of what I have and will be having now. I need to change! And that change means not to be la-di-da, and I am willing to try my best! I am officially leaving those who do not deserve me and those that I felt I do not deserve- so you people ‘you know who you are’- don’t go asking me the reason why I am doing this, because I won’t, not even bother, tell you what lacked and caused this change. The innocence may be gone, but the memory still remains... This is no time to be dramatic but I feel that I am losing so much time on being someone that I know I’m not and wouldn’t be. The night closes its doors and so do I!”
This is the goodbye text message that I sent to my friends, or so I thought. One incident happened to me that made me feel so alone and awkward- leaving me into nothingness full of broken pieces of the puzzle that I think must solve- an understatement. I felt so ashamed of myself after seeing that I was living in a world full of make-believe. Hatred is the first thing I have felt when I was brought back to reality by the pain that struck me, the truth really hurts, I know, but I was never prepared to face it so soon. I never know how that pain could come really close that I have started hurting myself and become so miserable. I didn’t know what to do, and so I had to say goodbye to all those who never believed in me and never remembered me every other day. Anguish is the next thing I felt, feeling betrayed by my friends whom I treasured so much and gave so much attention and love. I never did confront them... All I ever did was to say goodbye and change my number without telling them so. I was in grave sorrow that is why... I don’t know what else to do, because I am so miserable that time. What I did was to seek for comfort with the remaining true friends that I have, and so I thought once again. Stupidity is the great word I could ever compare myself to- So close... So close... This is what I am feeling one week after I have come to the realization that not all my friends are really my friends... Are you kidding me? This is another question I have been asking myself for a week. I don’t know why, but it seems that I could not grasp for the right answer that would fit in with that question. After feeling betrayed once again, I felt that I don’t have anything remaining in me, and so I have to go back to the nest where I can be safe from harm and pain...
Now, I'm tired of holding any pain inside of me, and I want to feel better. To become a better person... I'm ready to leave yesterday behind! ^^,
“The curtains unfold to the greatest story I have ever told. Now, I no longer have to bear with what I have been thinking. I have already given the most important secret I have been keeping to the friends I have. Tonight, at this very moment, I surrender my innocence-if that’s the most appropriate term to use- or almost as if I have made it gone with the wind. The labyrinth of my journey has come to an end as it finally takes its step to what lies toward me. Tonight, I am no longer afraid of any labefaction for I have had enough of it and I no longer need it; the failure isn’t as bad as it may seems for it goes swiftly back and forth at you- maybe I was just numb to feel it though or I am just so used to it. Tonight, I won’t be lackadaisical of the problems and troubles that I will be facing for I feel so secured of what I have and will be having now. I need to change! And that change means not to be la-di-da, and I am willing to try my best! I am officially leaving those who do not deserve me and those that I felt I do not deserve- so you people ‘you know who you are’- don’t go asking me the reason why I am doing this, because I won’t, not even bother, tell you what lacked and caused this change. The innocence may be gone, but the memory still remains... This is no time to be dramatic but I feel that I am losing so much time on being someone that I know I’m not and wouldn’t be. The night closes its doors and so do I!”
This is the goodbye text message that I sent to my friends, or so I thought. One incident happened to me that made me feel so alone and awkward- leaving me into nothingness full of broken pieces of the puzzle that I think must solve- an understatement. I felt so ashamed of myself after seeing that I was living in a world full of make-believe. Hatred is the first thing I have felt when I was brought back to reality by the pain that struck me, the truth really hurts, I know, but I was never prepared to face it so soon. I never know how that pain could come really close that I have started hurting myself and become so miserable. I didn’t know what to do, and so I had to say goodbye to all those who never believed in me and never remembered me every other day. Anguish is the next thing I felt, feeling betrayed by my friends whom I treasured so much and gave so much attention and love. I never did confront them... All I ever did was to say goodbye and change my number without telling them so. I was in grave sorrow that is why... I don’t know what else to do, because I am so miserable that time. What I did was to seek for comfort with the remaining true friends that I have, and so I thought once again. Stupidity is the great word I could ever compare myself to- So close... So close... This is what I am feeling one week after I have come to the realization that not all my friends are really my friends... Are you kidding me? This is another question I have been asking myself for a week. I don’t know why, but it seems that I could not grasp for the right answer that would fit in with that question. After feeling betrayed once again, I felt that I don’t have anything remaining in me, and so I have to go back to the nest where I can be safe from harm and pain...
Now, I'm tired of holding any pain inside of me, and I want to feel better. To become a better person... I'm ready to leave yesterday behind! ^^,
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