Not in the Mood

Damn... I just couldn't think of something interesting to write. I feel so stupid right now and I just can't seem to find the right thing that would make me inspired (not because of romantic relationship). I have been feeling like hell these past few weeks- impatient, uninspired, and moody. Yesterday, I chose to leave Manila so that I can have my sort of week long vacation. I think the things that make me impatient, uninspired, and moody are my daily routine in life- sleep, wake up, use the internet, study, chat, gossip, and the likes, and I guess I need to have some rest. I want silence, seriously, and I'm kind of getting it here in Bataan, because people here are asleep more often than not and I'm liking it because it makes me feel better than those past few weeks. People, especially my classmates, might react here saying that I'm not the type of person who wants silence, but they are absolutely wrong!, because I do want to have silence in my life, it's just that they are the ones who tempt me not to be silent almost every day. I don't know if anyone noticed that I'm becoming nicer than I was before. Well yeah, I think I'm slowly changing everything about me.

After 2009, I promised that I will change, and I think I'm doing great right now. I started eating foods which I don't really like before, specially vegetables. I also started to discipline myself when I'm inside the room- started to talk less. Also, I started to avoid making nasty jokes about my friends, although I sometimes forgot that promise. (evil laugh). And also, I started to become patient, and started to be sweet, and just like what I stated earlier, nice. I don't know what changed me. I just felt that I need to change, because I can see I will never be able to learn new things if I just stay contented with the things I have. I don't even know what I had before Honestly speaking, I don't like myself back then, because I was not confident with myself, and I was also insecure of what I don't have that other people have. But today, I can proudly say that I am now confident with myself and is happy with the people and things that I have now...

I'm liking the silence now, and I just realized that sometimes, silence can make people inspired. Silence can make me write the things I didn't plan to write. I didn't know that silence can make me feels very much alive. Before, I don't want silence because I find silence boring and I thought I can't bear the pain that silence makes me feel, but I was totally wrong. Silence, I shall say, is the only thing that could help you whenever you are in deep trouble. It's because silence can make you think of anything to make everything perfect!

*sigh*

Seriously, I'm not in the mood to write a long note. So I'll just end this note like this.

P.S. Whenever nature calls you, don't you even like it? All you ca hear is the dripping sound of your... *evil laugh*